After writing the post on wealth equivalence I started to think: "What is fundamentally wrong with spending money on lots of stuff? What is wrong with making you house look nice? What is wrong with having a fancy car and the best of everything?"
I think it comes down to this: When you are spending money for outward appearances, you are no longer satisfying your basic needs as a human anymore. You think buying things will make you happier, but why? Once you get beyond the basics, food, a shelter that comfortably accommodates you family, retirement savings that will allow you to live when you can no longer work, and maybe basic things that allow you to do activities that nourish your soul (music, art, writing, etc.), you are only buying things to impress others. Keep up, or surpass the Joneses.
Here's a definition of Affluenza from the website for the PBS TV series (which I haven't seen yet):
Af-flu-en-za n. 1. The bloated, sluggish and unfulfilled feeling that results from efforts to keep up with the Joneses. 2. An epidemic of stress, overwork, waste and indebtedness caused by dogged pursuit of the American Dream.
I think the first definition hits it on the head. You think you will be more fulfilled by buying more stuff, remodeling you kitchen, putting in a new deck, but will you really? Probably not. You'll just move on to the next "need"; be it a new pool, a new car, an addition to your house, whatever will give you greater status.
I am also guilty when it comes to this type of behavior. My house is probably too big, I have too much property, I have too many books, and too many guitars. I am taking the first step toward a cure, though. I am admitting I have a problem. The second step toward a cure is to realize that I can be fulfilled in ways other than by spending money. My first attempt at this is to start a practice of mindful meditation. I am currently reading Full Catastrophe Living and have read Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn in an attempt to gain more self-awareness. Dr. Kabat-Zinn also gave a good talk about mindfulness at the google campus that started me on this mindfulness path. I'll post about how it is going soon.
2 comments:
I agree with what you're saying. My wife and I are pretty good at not falling into this mindset. We don't have expensive tastes, we don't have flashy cars, we don't go crazy decorating our house, we don't have widescreen TVs and all the latest gadgets, etc. But, we have everything we need and more. All in all we have more than than the average person when compared to the rest of the world. The area we live in is very wealthy and I'm quite sure our income is a fraction of many of our neighbors. We got there through hard work, spending carefully and making the best of what we have. We're not too proud that we won't except hand-me-down clothes for the children or buy used cars etc. There are many ways of living comfortably and having nice things without spending lots of money. I recently did landscaping around the house. Along our front walkway is 1 inch red stone. For edging I went in the woods behind our house and dug up a few wheelbarrows of large stone which I washed and lined up along the walkway. It looks good but it sure isn't expensive or flashy. I have many examples like this. One of my new discoveries is Craigslist. Under the for sale section is a 'FREE' section. We've brought home bicycles, TVs, furniture and many more items in the last few months that have saved us from having to make purchases. Many of these items were in excellent shape. I know, I sound cheap, well BTW I did a cleanup last month and put out on the curb probably a few thousand dollars(original cost) worth of items. Bikes, TVs, printers, furniture clothes, etc. I think it's an important lesson to teach your children also, that they don't need to have the latest and greatest things, that something that is maybe not the top-of-the-line, or used, or hand-me-down can still be just as good. Oh, and with the money we save, occasionally we do get something to show off.
You might also try freecycle for some more "hand-me-down" items.
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